senior dating

Funny Life Quotes and Love Sayings

Cute Life Quotes | Best Love Quotes


Funny life quotes can also be the best love quotes. Just introduce a few witty love sayings to your online dating correspondence and flirtations. Because funny, cute life quotes can be romantic, too.

Funny Life Quotes and Love Sayings: The Best Love Quotes


Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
Plato

A friend is someone who will hide you.
Philip Roth

The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of.
Blaise Pascal

He is not a lover who does not love forever.
Euripides

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Robert Frost

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
Henry Ford

There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.
George Sand

Who so loves, believes the impossible.
Elizabeth Barret Browning

You call it madness, but I call it love
Don Byas

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love
Mother Teresa

Love is a friendship set to music.
E Joseph Cossman

funny life quotes

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller

Thou art to me a delicious torment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Make me immortal with a kiss.
Christopher Marlowe

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out
Elizabeth Bowen

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
Allan K Chalmers

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.
Lord Byron

Funny Life Quotes: Life, Love Quotes


The way I figure it, when my husband comes home from work, if the kids are still alive, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Oscar Wilde

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Three things have helped me through the ordeals of life; an understanding husband, a good analyst, and millions of dollars.
Mary Tyler Moore

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
Tom Stoppard

Buy land. They've stopped making it.
Mark Twain

He who laughs, lasts.
Mary Pettibone Poole

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Mark Twain

Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
Joe Namath Oscar Wilde

Funny Life Quotes: Battle of the Sexes


Love is a grave mental disease.
Plato

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.
Natalie Wood

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
Agatha Christie

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
Henny Youngman

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior".
Rita Rudner

He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.
Ring Lardner

I dress for women - I undress for men.
Angie Dickinson

I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

I'm married now, so I do most of my dating on the internet.
Buddy Parker

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

Love conquers all things, except poverty and toothache.
Mae West

Sensitive break up letters are my specialty. Dear Baby. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. PS, I'm gay.
Homer Simpson

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're probably broke.
Rhonda Dickson

There's a fine line between true love and a conviction for stalking.
Buzz Nutley

The main purpose of love is to provide a theme for novels.
Piers Paul Read

The fastest way to a man's heart is through his chest.
Roseanne Barr

I'm single by choice. Not my choice.
Orny Adams

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead yet?
Anon

If you leave me, can I come too?
Anon

Funny Life Quotes for Baby Boomers: On Immortality


The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
Anon

There is still no cure for the common birthday.
John Glenn

If your time hasn't come, not even a doctor can kill you.
M A Perlstein

If Einstein and Shaw couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none.
Mel Brooks

I don't want to live on in my work. I want to live on in my apartment.
Woody Allen

I told you I was ill.
Spike Milligan (epitaph)

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Stephen Wright

Funny Life Quotes for Baby Boomers: On Growing Older


Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain

The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere...and let the air out of their tires.
Dorothy Parker

Time wounds all heels.
Dorothy Parker

Middle age is when you choose cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
Anon

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Chili Davis

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Martin Fischer

I don't have an Achilles heel. I have an Achilles body.
Woody Allen

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
Janette Barger

funny life quotes

I don't feel 80. In fact I don't feel anything until noon, then it's time for a nap.
Bob Hope

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
Jerry M Wright

Don't worry about avoiding temptation - as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.
Anon

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
Truman Capote

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.
George Burns

Middle age is when you choose cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
Anon

I read The Times each morning and if my name does not appear in the obituaries, I go on to enjoy the day.
Noel Coward

Naked, I had a body that invited burial.
Spike Milligan

Funny Life Quotes for Baby Boomers: On Lying About Your Age


She said she was approaching 40, and I couldn't help wondering from which direction.
Bob Hope

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball

I'm not denying my age, I'm embellishing my youth.
Tamara Reynolds

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